A life well-played
If your life were a song, what would it be?
When people talk about living a “good life,” the idea is usually centered on one of two paths: the pursuit of happiness or the pursuit of meaning. Happiness, often tied to comfort and pleasant circumstances, can feel fleeting. Meaning, rooted in purpose and service, provides direction and fulfillment. But neither really feel complete. However, I’ve recently discovered a third way: choosing a psychologically rich life.
Researchers say that a psychologically rich life is one filled with curiosity, novelty, and perspective-shifting experiences. It doesn’t always align with pleasure or purpose (in fact, it will often have challenges or discomfort), but it’s deeply engaging. It makes life feel layered and textured, more like an intricate novel than a neatly plotted guidebook. In the world of music, it is a more like improvisation than a rehearsed performance: fluid, surprising, and alive in the moment. It’s jazz, it’s the blues, it’s rock n’ roll. It isn’t canned pop music (sorry, Max Martin).
This idea resonated deeply with me and explains so much of my own path.
From a young age, I was drawn to exploring new worlds—sometimes through travel, other times through books, and often through music. Touring with the band wasn’t just about playing shows; it was about exploring unfamiliar places, connecting with people whose lives looked very different from mine, and learning to see the world through their eyes. The most memorable parts of the road usually wasn’t the shows, but, the stories shared by fans, discovering a local dive, and expanding what I knew about the world. In fact, that was the inspiration behind the song Ideas of You, which I wrote as a metaphor for traveling through America and allowing my own ideas about places to be changed. Tour life was like jazz indeed: structured enough to hold together, but constantly shifting depending on the people, the city or country, and the energy in the room.
Reading was similar. Books allow me to inhabit experiences and perspectives far removed from my own, to see through eyes that history or circumstance might never otherwise allow me to borrow. In that way, reading and travel are intimately connected. Both can be done superficially (as a tourist flipping pages or snapping photos) but at their best, both are about listening, learning, and stretching the boundaries of empathy…often while breaking bread.
Of course, I’ve tried to pursue a life of purpose too: through volunteering, working on social causes, and trying to be an advocate of equity and justice. But recently I’ve learned that life isn’t just the pursuit of happiness or meaning. Happiness, as I’ve long felt, is temporary, often tied to external conditions. Joy, on the other hand, is a mindset. And, it is one that a psychologically rich life naturally fosters. Even when life isn’t easy or comfortable, the richness of new experiences creates a kind of lasting joy, born of curiosity and connection rather than fleeting pleasure.
Studies across multiple countries show that while most people say they’d prefer a happy or meaningful life, a surprising number—sometimes as many as one in six—would choose psychological richness instead. When asked about regrets, many people say that undoing them wouldn’t have made life happier or more purposeful, but richer, more interesting, and more alive.
For me, I don’t want a life that’s merely comfortable, or even one that’s simply purposeful (though I certainly wouldn’t mind either). I want the twists and turns. I want the unexpected conversations, the books that challenge me, the journeys that shift my worldview. That’s how growth happens. That’s how we overcome being stagnant.
A psychologically rich life isn’t a simple melody—it’s a full improvisation, sometimes dissonant, often surprising, but always alive with possibility.
